Things in life don’t always happen for a reason; however, oftentimes they do. That saying “When one door closes, another one opens” is the absolute truth.
Life will always bring disappointments and sometimes failures; however, we should never allow them to break us. Always remember that there is often a new opportunity on its way. When things end, we often think it’s the end of the road but it’s simply a bump in the road. The fact is when that door closes, we were never meant to go through that door and travel down that path for very long in the first place.
Even though it is both frustrating and stressful when things don’t go the way we had wanted them to, things work out exactly as they are meant to in the long run.
How you handle that closed door is how you will receive new opportunity. When you are able to stay positive during a transition, you allow positive energy to flow toward you for new opportunities. You are allowed to feel sad, even angry. It’s actually important to experience these emotions during the process. Allow your emotions to be. Feel them but never allow them to consume you.
After you feel the emotions and process them, it’s time to recenter both your focus and energy. Learn from the experience. Allow yourself to be grateful for the experience. It is equally important, if not more important, to be grateful for being released from a situation that wasn’t meant for you. Embrace gratitude so new opportunities will be able to come through the next door. Not only will the next opportunity be more exciting and fulfilling, but it will be more aligned with your authentic life.
I am the lead singer for my band Daze of Dari. My bandmates and I had been together for a while and performed many gigs together. We met weekly for rehearsal and it was always a lot of fun. We were friends, a band family. So I thought.
I’m not even sure what happened, but in an instant, I was looking for a new drummer. My drummer left stating that the travel was getting to be too much for him. I found that quite odd since he’d always say he got to rehearsal quickly, to the gig quickly or got home quickly. It never seemed to be an issue. Honesty would have been nice, but not everyone is authentic so they cannot be honest. And if I am being honest, he was a very hard hitter who played all over the place without control and I always had to try to sing on top of his playing. He was also always in a bad mood whenever he walked into rehearsal or a gig.
In the process of looking for a new drummer, I was looking for a new lead guitarist and bassist. The ones I had were not able to do key changes nor were they willing to learn. Guitarists should always play in the key that a lead singer sounds the best in. Besides that, the bass player was always too loud and we were forever telling my lead guitarist to turn up – including people in the audience. Not good. Because of these reasons, they weren’t a right fit and we too parted ways.
Did I cry? Of course I did! Did I lose sleep? Yes, I did. Did I let it consume me? No, I did not! I jumped right back into the game. I placed ads on Facebook, Bandmix and Craigslist and after auditioning a couple of drummers, I now have a new band with MUCH BETTER musicians.
My new drummer plays perfectly in the pocket. He is much more controlled and is not an insanely hard hitter. He knows when to hold back or drive forward. He is also humble and kind. He’s always in a good mood. It’s such a refreshing change.
My lead guitarist is amazing. I knew he was the one immediately. He was the first to audition and he was it. He was in a band back in the day that opened up for Peter Frampton, Southside Johnny and more! His riffs are off-the-charts. I never have to tell him to turn up. His playing and his volume are on-point. He also harmonizes and when we sing together, it sounds incredible. He even suggested trying a song in different key. He is a true professional and I am blessed.
My bass player is my fill-in guy who has helped me in the past. Unfortunately, he cannot be permanent as he is in another band but he comes to rehearsal every week and has committed to the gigs I have coming up in the near future. Not only is he a fabulous bassist, but his back-up vocals and harmonizing are pure perfection.
My band so much better now because of that door closing. I grieved the loss of not only bandmates but what I thought were friends and I moved forward. I had a new band put together in less than two weeks and as I stated, they are much better.
As a matter of fact, after the first rehearsal with these new guys, when I walked out of the rehearsal room to pay the guy at the desk, he said “I gotta tell you Dari, I loved what I heard in there tonight!” He went on to say “Wait until you play with these guys a couple of times. They are so much better than your old guys!” Needless to say, I was THRILLED.
I always videotape my rehearsals and that night when I came home from rehearsal, my husband said “How did it go?” I said “You tell me.” He honestly didn’t know what to expect since the week prior was an absolute disaster with auditioning another drummer.
We watched the videos and I was blown away, as was my husband. The same songs I had done so many times with my old bandmates was in no comparison to the FIRST time doing them with these guys. We sounded amazing. My vocals even sounded stronger. I had found my bandmates.
We have seven gigs coming up, starting this weekend. I am thrilled to have these new bandmates backing me up. My band is better than it’s ever been. If you’re in the area, we’d love for you to come out and see us!
Better things will always come your way. Remember heartbreak brings promise and setbacks bring opportunity.
Darielle Brooklyn 