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When Life Throws You A Curveball

26 Monday Aug 2024

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Navigating change in life can be difficult. During our journey in life, we never know what may come our way. Life will throw you unexpected curveballs. Curveballs are simply unpredictable turns that can cause havoc in our life. When the unexpected happens, it can be challenging to adjust and move forward. Curveballs are not failure, they are setbacks. Setbacks are simply a detour.

Setbacks take us by surprise but they also instill resilience and strength, two significant skills needed for success. Life is like an elevator, a ride of ups and downs. Sometimes the downs bring us to thinking that the future has no hope for a particular situation but the truth is, there is ALWAYS hope.

Change is inevitable. It occurs constantly in life. Nothing ever stays the same and unfortunately, bad things do come our way. Setbacks come as a complete surprise and you’re left feeling a plethora of emotions. Life was going along and everything was moving in the right direction and then something unexpected happens and your expectations are simply shattered. Your natural response to a negative event may be denial, lashing out in anger or complete sadness. Some people experience all three. We sometimes need to hit a “pause button” to reflect on the occurrence and figure out what adjustments need to be made in order to move forward.

The reality is that we need to accept the change and embrace the setback. Remember it’s not a permanent block in the road. Recognize that you have the power to adapt with change. You know what’s best and you have what it takes to work through any curveball thrown your way. We may be limited but we are not helpless.

Once you recognize the curveball, you can come up with a strategy to recover from it. At this point you take that strategy and implement new habits, new ideas and new routines.

It’s okay to be angry. You have every right to be upset. After all, the world as you knew it has shifted. The fact is you can’t predict the future but you can navigate through any changes. Remember what appears as a huge loss at the moment could actually be a blessing in disguise!

Curveballs are so incredibly painful because they really make us feel like we have no control over what happened. You believe you were doing all of the right things but in spite of your efforts, the result you wanted didn’t materialize. Again, it is important to remember that what occurred is leading you on a path to something better even though you may not be able to see it at the moment.

Every curveball thrown our way leaves us with an opportunity to have a different perspective and learn. We learn from every experience. Look at any and all available resources you have to help you during this transitionary period. Support systems and people you trust are able to provide guidance or simply a listening ear.

It is crucial to change your thoughts and implement new strategies necessary to attain the vision you hold. The setback will provide you with new wisdom to attain your vision. The end result will be better than you can imagine.

Life recently threw me a curveball that in all honesty, I never saw coming. I was unprepared to deal with the emotions that hit me. I was not only in disbelief, but I was angry and to be frank, I was very sad. I was caught so off guard and it was very emotionally challenging. It gave me added stress and caused me to lose a lot of sleep as well.

I have always been a positive person so I was able to tell myself positive things. The truth is the sun will rise every morning, the birds will always sing beautiful music and life still needed to be lived as it always was. I had two choices. I could either let this setback consume me or I could allow it to motivate me. I decided to choose motivation.

Perspective is everything. I used my inner navigation system to take back control of the situation I was put in and I moved forward in making necessary adjustments. I put myself back in the driver’s seat and became empowered. I found solutions and found my way around any obstacles. I realized that a whole new world of opportunities have been opened and what is coming will be so much better! The truth is, what I thought was a loss was actually a blessing in disguise.

The reality is it’s all about focusing on what we can control and finding a solution whenever we hit a bump in the road as we navigate through this journey of life.

That old saying “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” teaches us that we can always find a way to deal with any curveballs thrown our way. Another great quote is “Giving up on your goal because of one setback is like slashing your other three tires because you have one flat.”

Setbacks make us stronger. They make us smarter. They can teach us, humble us and force us to move forward in the right direction. Every successful person has faced setbacks along their way.

Always use any setback as motivation. It’s fuel to power yourself forward. We can’t change the past and it’s unhealthy to dwell on the past. Moving forward with an optimistic attitude is a much better course of action.

“Life is happening for you, not to you.” The way you relate to something is everything. If you think that something is happening TO you, you may become passive. If you look at it differently to think that something is happening FOR you, you gain much more control over the situation and become proactive. It allows you to consider ways to navigate through this challenge. Take the wisdom you have gained and move forward.

Life’s unexpected turns are incredibly challenging but they also allow us to grow and transform. Allow yourself to feel the feelings, grieve the change and move forward. Your next chapter is going to be more fulfilling. Know that within yourself, you have the strength to navigate and flourish from any life challenges thrown your way. You’ve survived each thing life thrown at you and you will survive this too.

Always remember the setback is a setup for the comeback and the comeback will be better than you can ever imagine!

Are You Living a Monotonous Life?

21 Sunday Jul 2024

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Have you ever been in a situation where you are simply feeling completely stuck? Have you ever wished you could rewind time, start over and change your situation? Guess what… you are NOT alone. Each and every single one of us has had these feelings at some point. It’s a universal human experience. Everyone at some point or another will feel stuck whether it is in their career, reaching goals or relationships.

We become stuck when we believe our life should be different. When you really want something, for example, a new job, a better physique or a better relationship, you feel stuck and you often think about how things could be much better and completely different. You come to the realization that what once made you feel alive is now draining the life out of you.

If you are feeling stuck in any aspect of your life, it is important to not keep you feelings bottled up. You need to confront the situation that you are in so that you are able to find a solution.

As life goes forward, so much changes. We don’t stay the same person forever – the reality is nobody does. Change is inevitable. What we wanted 5, 10, 20 years ago is different now. What we wanted and accepted years back, is not longer desirable or acceptable.

Sometimes we feel trapped due to monotony. We are overwhelmed by feeling suffocated and trapped because we feel we are missing out on other things in life.

The same routine day after day can start to feel purposefulness. If something is no longer fulfilling you, it definitely becomes challenging to feel happy and feel excited. We become a hamster in a wheel.

Monotony affects everything in our lives. When you are not excited about your life anymore, your mood and your energy are greatly affected. It has a negative impact on both your physical and mental health as well.

Inner satisfaction comes from within. Always look for what gives you the most satisfaction and work towards achieving it. Satisfaction within is equal with happiness. Find your why (see my blog about this) and think about what you can do to make your life better.

Monotony is the opposite of excitement. When you wake up with that feeling of “here I go again,” try changing your routine. It will help you wake up with more enthusiasm and will have you looking forward to doing something different.

If you are tired of feeling trapped and tired of living a monotonous life, there are things you can do to revive your life until you can completely change your current situation.

Be confident in yourself. Low self-esteem will keep you feeling trapped. Once you gain self-confidence, you will be able to move toward making that change.

Know exactly what it is that you want to achieve. You need to identify the problem in order to determine the outcome that you want so that you can get it.

Enjoy the little things. Things both big and small that can make you feel better are necessary. Whether it’s reading a book or a weekend getaway, do whatever makes you happy.

Remember this is not forever. Life changes daily and your circumstances do not have to be forever. Solutions can and will present themselves. You are a powerful human being and you can make necessary changes. It may be scary at first but you will look back and be thankful that you did what was necessary to allow yourself to live a much happier life.

Stay strong. Practice self kindness. Your life is your story. You can change the direction at any time. You are worthy of living a life that not only makes you truly happy, but also one that is impactful and allows you to leave a beautiful legacy behind.

Singing with Passion

18 Thursday Jul 2024

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Music is an emotion that you can hear. Many people think that a good singer simply memorizes lyrics to a song and sings notes without going off key. It’s not that simple. People can sing the same song with the same musical arrangement and the results will be completely different.

There are many factors to singing and one very important one is singing with passion. When you sing with passion, feeling and emotion, you reach a level of connection with your audience. Songs are not only made up of words. They are also made up of sounds and power and people relate to each one when they listen to music. Singing with emotion is important for the success of any performance. It will stir up feelings and allow your audience to have an emotional response to each song you sing.

Singing is communication. When you sing a song, you are telling a story. You are delivering a message to your audience. How you deliver that message will determine how they identify with the lyrics, feel your emotion and have a reaction to your singing. A vocalist who can intermingle with the emotions of a song will sound much more intense and passionate than one who makes no attempt to emotionally connect with a song. You need to connect to the song in order to connect with the audience.

All songs you sing will have transitionary moments of silence. These pauses add depth to your performance. Emphasize these moments with feeling. Capture the emotions and express them. Facial expressions will also enhance a particular mood of a song and add dynamics as well as connecting the audience to the song.

Always read your audience and engage with them. Stage presence is important. Look at your audience and make eye contact. This is essential in order to sing with emotion. Simply smile when you make eye contact. It lets your audience know that you are having a great time. Energy is contagious. When you have a great time, they will too.

Energy is a must. Your body language is just as important as your vocals in order to convey the energy and emotion of a song to your audience. If you are singing in a venue where there really isn’t much room to move around, always use hand gestures and facial expressions to enhance your performance and show emotion. A good stage presence is important as your presence on stage allows the audience to see your confidence in your ability. Energetic performances are memorable in the greatest way whereas watching a vocalist on stage with planted feet and not moving, would be memorable as a horrific performance. Move the best you can in the space you can, just be sure to move!

Vibrato is not only incredibly effective but also soulful and allows more emotion and expression to your vocals. When you slightly alter or vibrate the pitch of a note that you are sustaining, it is powerful! It actually happens naturally in order to ease the tension on your vocal cords but you can also train yourself to have even more control when you learn to sing from your diaphragm. It is important to use vibrato sparingly to stir up emotion. If you use it too often, it will lose the ability to stir up feelings in your audience.

Dynamic balance is very effective to express the emotion of a song. When you go from loud to quiet and quiet to loud, it is is much more effective than singing loudly for the entire song. Controlling dynamics allows you to sing with emotion and have that connection with your audience. When you implement varying the tone and volume of your vocals, you capture attention and draw people in to your performance. Remember different feelings have different tones and sounds. Reflect and convey the message of the song using the appropriate dynamics.

It is important to capture the feel, passion and emotion of each song you sing, whether it be a love song or a pop/rock song. Always tell a story and give emotion to each and every word. This will put you way above the singers who simply belt out lyrics.

When you are authentic and you allow yourself to be vulnerable you will always leave your audience with a memorable performance.

Have You Fallen Out Of Love?

11 Thursday Jul 2024

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I was recently talking to an out-of-state friend of mine who told me she has been thinking about ending her marriage of over 25 years. She has been speaking with a therapist for quite some time about this. She told me that but she tried “date nights” – doing things that they used to enjoy together – but that things are not the same. She no longer has fun with him and she has fallen out of love with him.

If you are going through a rough patch with your significant other and your relationship feels boring and rocky, it can be hard to know whether it’s just a phase or you are truly falling out of love.

It’s completely natural to have ups and downs in relationship. Some of us even have doubts wondering if there is someone better for us out there. If you’re feeling this way but you still want to repair your relationship, obviously you are still invested in it. On the other hand, if you truly have no desire to work on it anymore, maybe you have fallen out of love with your partner.

There are many signs that allow us to see whether or not we are still truly “in love.”

Butterflies. We know that we can’t expect to be head over heels in love every single day of our lives but if you don’t feel any excitement towards your partner at all, this is a red flag. Try, as my friend did, to enjoy quality time together. All relationships require maintenance. By making the time to do something fun together allows you to see if the start is still there. If you no longer want to engage in “date nights” or if you make the effort to reignite that lost spark and still don’t feel the slightest bit of butterflies, the sad fact is that the romantic love you once felt may be gone.

Daydreaming. There is a big difference in admiring someone’s looks that you see when you are out but it’s another if you are constantly looking at others. If you cannot stop looking at others, you may be have the “greener grass” mentality.

Making Your Partner a Priority. Even the slightest thing, like not answering your partner’s text messages is a sign. Every single one of us makes the time for the things that are important to us. If you are prioritizing anything else over your partner, such as a hobby, this is also another sign that you may be falling out of or are already out of love. Of course we all have outside hobbies, friends and even jobs; however, your relationship should always be number one above anything and everything else.

Sex Life. We all know that there are ups and downs where this is concerned. Life stress and dynamics play a huge role in our sex life. It’s a definite red flag if you’ve completely lost interest in your partner where sex is concerned. I mean, let’s face it, without intimacy, a relationship is simply a friendship or even a roommate scenario.

Each of us are different regarding physical intimacy. Holding hands, hugging, and sitting next to each other on the couch are simple ways to share intimacy. If you have no desire to do any of these small things, this is an issue as well. Simply stated, the thought of being romantic with your partner shouldn’t make you feel grotesque. If you find yourself constantly at arm’s length and pulling away from your partner, the attraction is no longer there.

Best Friends. If you were once best friends with your partner and that dynamic has shifted, that’s another indication that you are no longer “in love.” After all, partners who are best friends turn to each other for support and tell each other almost everything. Partners who are best friends share a special bond.

Obviously, there are certain things that you’d rather speak to a close friend or even a therapist about but if you find you are constantly turning to others for support rather than turning to your partner, that’s another red flag. People who have fallen out of love confide in other people and become more independent. If you do the same, you are disconnected and no longer need to rely on your partner. You start protecting your feelings and yourself and you detach yourself little by little.

Annoying Behavior. You may notice that the things that used to have no effect on you are now bothering you to the point of anger and disgust. When their mannerisms become increasingly irritating and every little thing is annoying you, take note.

There are so many more signs like feeling relief when they aren’t around, relishing in time alone and when you no longer want to make an effort. A big one is when the communication is gone, things that were once fights are now silent moments because the effort is no longer worth your energy. There are red flags after red flags.

Whatever your signs are, honor them. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel and do what you need to do. Always take action to try to repair the relationship before completely giving up.

Whatever you decide to do – whether it be to rekindle your relationship or to sever ties – always have self-respect. Be honest with yourself and maintain self-care.

The brutal fact is we are given one life to live. We deserve to live it the happiest way possible, no matter what that way is.

When Envy Hinders Validation

10 Wednesday Jul 2024

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In a relationship, validation is an extremely connecting power. To have a much closer and connected relationship, a partner needs to be excited when the other has something wonderful going on in their life.

Validation is crucial for a relationship to thrive. If you’re missing out on this extremely powerful relationship skill, it can be detrimental to your relationship.

It’s truly sad when someone chooses to not get genuinely excited for their partner’s success and happiness. As humans, it is natural to want to be around those that listen to us and validate us.

You should never feel stuck in an unsatisfying relationship. Effective communication is crucial here. If you feel unvalidated by your partner, let them know how you feel. Your feelings need to be a priority for you to express and for your partner to understand. The conversation doesn’t need to be combative nor intimidating. There are many ways to approach the issue in a respectful, non confrontational way.

There is nothing wrong with having expectations that things will change but the truth is we should never expect them to. It’s certainly reasonable to think that your partner will become more validating after your communication with them but it can go in one ear and out the other. We can’t control their reception or their reaction.

The bottom line is lack of support from our significant other is problematic. The lack of support can come from them being threatened by change or downright envy. Maybe your partner feels envious of what you are experiencing and your passion for it. Rather than being validating and excited for you, their immediate response is to be invalidating. Most likely, the reason for this is that they are harboring resentment because deep down they are wishing they were in your situation.

Healthy couples want the best for each other. They aren’t competitive. They root for each other. When one partner is not rooting for the other, it is because of a sense of inadequacy. In a healthy relationship, one partner’s success should affect the other in a positive way. They should each feel pride and admiration for each other and bask in the light from the other.

A step to correcting this is honesty. Admitting envy will be extremely difficult but harboring resentment will kill a relationship. Once admitted, it is important to have a heart-to-heart conversation.

Relationships will not always be sunshine and rainbows but they are supposed to bring us more joy than disappointment. Relationships with others should be positive with incredible, beautiful, and vibrant energy.

The bottom line is always do you and do you big! Never let someone who has a problem with your brightness dim you. Shine and shine brightly!

Live Your Dream Life

07 Sunday Jul 2024

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In order to live your dream life, it will take effort on your part. Your dream life is unique to you. Some people dream of having a career they enjoy whether they make a lot of money. Some people dream of having a busy social life. Some people dream of having a loving family. Others dream of living in solitude. Your dream life should be a life that you find satisfying, full of purpose and full of meaning.

If you aren’t living your dream life, there are several factors as to why. Many things prevent you from living your best life. There could be certain obstacles in your way or it could be the fact that you aren’t taking the necessary action needed. You could be procrastinating. I wrote another blog about finding your why. Your why should compel you to give you the inspiration necessary to go after the life you want.

When you live your dream life, opportunities will always continually present themselves to you. There will always be obstacles but when your mindset is set on your why, you handle obstacles differently. Your mindset will change any circumstance that you find yourself in.

“The resources we need to turn our dreams into reality are within us, merely waiting for the day when we decide to wake up and claim our birthright.” – Tony Robbins

Sometimes we find that we have a skill or an ability that we never knew existed within us but when you find it, you find yourself moving forward on this new journey.

Are you living your dream life? Are you happy with your life and your circumstances? If the answer to these questions is no, you need to find out what is stopping you. Certain behaviors hold us back from living our dream life. Are you doing any of the following?

Evading Your Purpose. In order to live the life of your dreams, you need to stop evading your purpose. Be authentic. Always. When you are authentic, you will lead a life of purpose. This is YOUR life, no one else’s. What others think isn’t as important as what you think about your current situation. You need to make an effort to discover what it is you truly desire in order to go from here to there.

Release Fear. It is certainly natural to feel fear when pursuing something new. The fear of failure makes it feel risky to go after our ambitions. On the flip side, there’s a big chance of success and that is what your focus should be. You know that saying you can’t succeed if you don’t try? The same goes for living the life of our dreams. Don’t focus on limitations. Focus on your inner courage and take the necessary action in going after the life you want.

You Don’t Need Approval. You aren’t a child anymore and you no longer need approval for every single thing you want to do. You are an adult and you no longer need to be dependent on anyone else to give you any permission to life the life of your dreams.

You Don’t Need Validation. You don’t need to hear that you can life your best life from anyone other than yourself. Give yourself validation and permission to live the life you dream of.

Stop Second Guessing Yourself. Self-doubt is highly poisonous. If you want to accomplish anything in this life, you must praise yourself and lift yourself up. Stop doubting yourself.

Put in the Effort. When you put in effort, you can do anything. Boundaries are imposed by ourselves. Visions have no boundaries. Remember the saying “Believe and you can achieve.” Never allow mediocrity. Always strive for the excellence. Don’t minimize your ability. As soon as you decide that you don’t want to live a mediocre life, you will experience transformation.

Stop Negative Self Talk. Always remember whatever you tell yourself when spoken negatively will only cause any doubt to escalate. When you speak positively to yourself, you will build self-confidence and be on your journey to living the life of your dreams.

Stop Associating with Negative People. Toxic, negative people can trigger you and cause their toxicity to spill into your life. Limit interaction with toxic and negative people. Sometimes we can’t completely remove them from our lives but we can limit the amount of time that we associate with them. Personal boundaries are necessary in order to pursue living the life of your dreams.

Stop Comparing and Competing. The only person you should compare yourself to and compete against is you. Focus on how you can improve things to move toward living the life of your dreams. It doesn’t matter if someone has more money than you. What matters is what you do to go about making more money for yourself. It doesn’t matter if someone is in better shape than you. What matters is what are you willing to do to improve your appearance and health. It is never impossible to improve yourself.

Live in the Present. There is no need to look back with regrets. Your attention should be on the present and your focus should be on the future. In order to live the life of your dreams, you need to let go of the past. Remember any past choices and mistakes made you who you are today. Learn from them and continue moving forward since it’s impossible to go back in time to change them.

Fears should never prevent you from living your dream life. Obstacles are necessary for your journey. Personal growth needs mistakes. When you avoid anything because of the fear of failure, it is detrimental because you are also avoiding success.

Alter your perspective. Build on what you have. Use your knowledge. Start making small changes which will lead to bigger changes to allow you to live your best life.

Too many people choose to live a life of mediocrity and sadly won’t live out their dreams. Don’t be one of them. Let the past go and start living your best life immediately. Persistence is so important. Persistence and determination will get you where you want to be.

Remember all dreams start with taking action and one step. Do what you can the best you can.

The time has come to put your dream life into focus and make it a reality.

Anticipatory Grief

05 Friday Jul 2024

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I wasn’t always an only child and then in an instant I became one.

My brother Alan and I used to talk daily and most times, more than once a day. Though he moved to Florida in 1996, we were always there for each other. When times got tough, such as his divorce, my husband needing surgery or the loss of my Dad, he’d fly up immediately. We’d comfort each other and be there for each other. We always were and I thought we always would be until we were very old.

There was a certain rhythm to our sibling-ship. The way we interacted with each other, whether we were connecting or whether we were arguing. It was unique and it was ours. It was special and in an instant, it was gone.

It was and still is extremely painful to no longer have Alan in my life. Years later, the loss is felt even more knowing that my Mom’s health is declining. She has been on dialysis since 2018 and in the past week, she has been to the ER twice for a fall that left her with 11 stitches in her arm. They also found she has pneumonia in one of her lungs.

It is so difficult to not have a sibling to share the responsibility of everything with. It is very isolating and it takes a huge emotional toll on me. Though my husband helps out tremendously, there is still no replacement for a sibling when dealing with a parent’s illness. I am the only one to make decisions and I carry all of the responsibility and all of the stress.

The range of my emotions is extensive: guilt, worry, anger, helplessness, anxiety and more. I am losing sleep and my brain is on constant overload. I live with anticipatory grief every single day of my life.

I lost my hero, my rock – my Dad – in addition to losing my only sibling. I now live with the constant fear of losing my Mom. It’s far more than anyone knows or understands. As hard as the loss is going to be, I know without a shadow of a doubt, that it would be easier to get through day-by-day with my brother by my side. We could reminisce, talk, help each other, laugh together, cry together and so much more. All of the things that are necessary to heal have been taken away from me and knowing I won’t experience any of them absolutely terrifies me.

I have no choice other than to cope with my mom’s health. Here are some things I find helpful.

Express your feelings. Expressing feelings is crucial. Talk to loved ones and close friends so that your emotions are not bottled up. As you know, holding in strong emotions can be detrimental for your overall health.

Spend time with loved ones. Spend time with close friends and family and live in the present moment enjoying their company. Even laughing for a few seconds helps for a short time.

Find an expressive outlet. For me, it’s singing. I am a lead singer in my band, Daze of Dari and it’s an amazing stress reliever for me. Whether it’s a couple of hours with my band practicing or performing at an actual gig, the time spent doing what I love is a wonderful outlet and distraction. By expressing yourself through something you really enjoy you can relieve any anxiety or sadness even for a little while.

Journal. Journal. Journal. Writing in a journal takes those thoughts in your head and gets them onto paper. Writing is therapeutic in so many ways. Gratitude journals are also important at this time. Daily expressions of gratitude are known to help your mental and physical health. Gratitude journals can decrease depression and anxiety. Gratitude journals allow you to experience joy and peace. Journal daily.

Seek out a therapist. Can close friends and family listen? Of course they can but a professional therapist offers coping mechanisms as well as so much more.

Take care of yourself. Stress levels are much higher for those dealing with parents who are ill. It is important that you take steps to take care of your own health.

Eat healthy food. A healthy diet is so important. Stay away from eating processed frozen meals or eating on-the-go fast food. Eat at home and prepare meals that you can take with you.

Exercise. Take the time to move. Whether it be working out at a gym, running or going for a walk, just move. Exercise reduces stress and helps with mental clarity.

Do something fun. I know that this can sometime seem impossible but it’s really an important thing to implement into your life. Even going out for dinner with a close friend or watching a movie can take your mind off of things for a couple of hours.

Ask for help. If you need help, ask for it. Sometimes a close friend can pick up a couple of things for you at the grocery store. You can have things delivered. If you have children, ask someone to watch them if you need time that only you can take care of. Any help you allow yourself to accept will help you cope with your parent’s illness by giving you less things to do.

Practice positive thinking. Remember how powerful your mind is. Try to focus on the positives to keep yourself moving forward. Use tools that motivate you whether it’s reading, focusing on a hobby or simply implementing positive thinking. You can meditate to bring yourself back to center and a more calm state.

Focusing on the positives and doing things that you enjoy can keep your mind out of that dark place of despair, stress, sorrow and exhaustion. To see how much your parent has changed is overwhelming. The emotions are unavoidable but the more you implement positive focus into your day, the more your mind will stay out of that deep and scary place.

Accept what is. As much as we want to fix our parent’s health and rewind time so that they become who they once were, unfortunately we can’t. We need to accept what is. Accepting a situation allows you to respond in a better way. It will enable you to support your loved one rather than trying to fix the unfixable. This is a very difficult task but a necessary one for each of you.

Spend time with them. Even though your parent may not be able to do the things you used to enjoy doing together, it is important to spend as much time with them as you can. Find meaningful ways to spend time together. Talk, watch TV, look at old photographs, and have them over to your home for a change of scenery. Enjoy nature with them by sitting outside and listening to the birds together.

Leave nothing left unsaid. Tell your loved one that you love them. Show them gratitude by thanking them for all they’ve done for you. Forgive them and ask them or forgiveness. Leave no stone unturned.

Incorporate spirituality. Spirituality means different things for each of us. Some of the things spirituality can be are meditating, being outside in nature, listening to music, appreciating art and for some, prayer. Spirituality offers a better quality of life and helps to relieve stress and anxiety.

Know that you will get through this. It is important to know that you never “get over” certain things in life but you do “get through” them. Each one of us will have a unique experience and will feel a whirlwind of emotions for a very long time.

Always know that you’re not alone. Rely on close friends, family and even a therapist. Join a support group if needed. Connect with others and you’ll never be alone.

In trying times, sometimes all we can do is live day-by-day, sometimes we can only live moment-by-moment. We are never prepared for some of the things that come our way. Every single thing we experience changes who we are as a person and many times dynamics of relationships will change. If you can find tranquility in the turmoil, love yourself and keep moving forward you will be okay. In this crazy thing called life, it’s all we can do.

Soul Pets

03 Wednesday Jul 2024

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If you like myself, feel that you have a soul connection with your fur baby, this is for you.

We are all energetic beings. Everything and each one of us is made up of energy. People and animals alike have four different bodies of energy: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

Our bodies have energy beyond the physical component and this amazing energy flows though each and every one of us, including animals. Animals are much more sensitive to energy than we as humans are. They feel so innately without any interference, such as ego.

Through our spiritual bodies, i.e., our energy, we are all connected to each other and to our pets. This is seen when one of our pets mirrors what we are feeling or experiencing and they have a mood shift. If we are sad, they become sad. If we are stressed, they become stressed. This is because the energetic connection that we share with our fur babies is so intense. Our lives intertwine and we are connected to each other’s soul.

The closer you are to your pet, the more likely it is that they will absorb your energy and be attuned to any emotion you are experiencing. Human emotions are contagious to their pets. This ability only strengthens our bond with them.

Just like us, animals have souls. When we are connected and joined into each other’s lives, our souls begin a journey together. Many believe that we have been in past lives with our fur baby and that we will be together again future lives. The bond cannot ever be broken. It is one reunion after another. We always find our way back to each other.

Animals play many roles in our lives. They can be our best friend, our confidant, our mentor, even our soul mate. Our fur babies are one of life’s most precious gifts. We give each other unconditional love, an unending spiritual connection, and we are always learning from each other.

I was blessed to have Darci, my Maltese as my very first soul dog. I was blessed to have her in my life for over 15 years. I was blessed to have a soul connection with Bentley, a dog I rescued and had in my life for 11 years. I am now blessed to have a soul connection with Laci, who just turned three in June. Laci was born four days after Darci passed away and you can guess how I feel about that.

The journey with our fur babies won’t always be positive and it won’t always be easy. There will be frustrations and undoubtedly, there will be loss. For the time that you are blessed with your soul fur baby, you will experience more joy than you could ever imagine. They are a bundle of immense love and to experience this beautiful connection is truly a gift.

The Negative Aspect of Text Messaging

02 Tuesday Jul 2024

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Have your ever received a text message and immediately got defensive only to realize later that you interpreted the message incorrectly? Have you ever sent someone an innocent text message and they misinterpreted your message? I’m imagining every single one of you reading this answers “yes.”

In our busy world, text messaging has quickly become the preferred method of communication but for many, it causes problems. About 50% of text messages get lost in translation leading to unnecessary arguments between people, putting strains on their relationships.

It is so much easier to misinterpret a text message than verbal communication. Text messages leave room for lack of clarity. The same thing said face-to-face or verbally on the telephone would most likely not be misunderstood and would avoid any potential conflict.

When a text message is received, we are unaware of what the sender is dealing with at that moment. They could be sending a quick, brief message right before needing to get back to work. They could be under the weather, tired and unable to concentrate at the time. Under these circumstances and so many others, crucial context could be absent and therefore the text message is received and seen as short, cold or snippety.

When we communicate face-to-face, we rely on and experience facial expressions as well as the tone of someone’s voice. Verbal communication allows us to pick up on emotional cues. We are able to get a sense of how someone feels as well as how they react to our verbal communication. If you can’t speak to someone in person, use the telephone to call someone. It is much more personal and you will be able to “read” someone more clearly than by simply reading words on a screen. Emotional connection is important to understand each other and you simply cannot get that from texting.

Not only is there a lack of facial expression as well as the tone of someone’s voice in a text message, but we also lack the ability to see their body language. When you are face-to-face, you can see someone smile as they are talking which indicates friendliness and happiness. On the other hand, if someone is speaking with you and they have their arms folded, their eyebrows raised and they are fidgety, this can indicate resistance, disbelief and anxiety. When you are texting with another, you have no idea of the other person’s body language. Misinterpreting text messages easily leads to full-blown arguments via text. If face-to-face is not an option, the telephone is a much better choice as verbal communication will allow you to hear someone’s tone, their mood and their intention.

Even digital language can be misinterpreted. The older generation tends to use proper spelling, grammar and punctuation whereas the younger generation choose to use more emojis and abbreviations. Texting can be misconstrued as too formal, even stiff while the emojis and abbreviations can be seen as short. Even the word “okay” typed as “k” can be taken the wrong way in certain context. How do you feel when someone simply types “fine.” There are so many interpretations of such a simple word. These are two digital language extremes. Try to aim for somewhere in the middle of them both. Opt for complete sentences while using more informal language so your tone doesn’t appear curt.

Before hitting that send button, be sure to proofread your message in order to avoid miscommunication. Flip it to you being the receiver. Is this a message you would be okay with receiving, without interpreting it the wrong way? Be honest with yourself. It can leave to an avoidance of arguments.

While text messaging is a great tool, it can also lead to misinterpretation, misunderstandings and upset relationships. The saying “everything in moderation” comes to mind here. Communication is important so we should always do what we can in order to do so effectively.

How to Become a Better Singer

30 Sunday Jun 2024

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One of the greatest ways to get a crowd going is with great music. Sure, DJ’s are great but there is nothing like hearing a live band. I am the lead singer in my band, Daze of Dari, and it is so rewarding when I see people smiling, dancing and having a great time.

A good singer possesses the ability to affect others by transporting them to another place and even by reaching their soul. Here are some tips to being a better singer:

Always be authentic. Be vulnerable and bear your soul through your voice. When you express yourself genuinely, you connect with the crowd.

Make the song your own. Just because you didn’t write the song and you aren’t the artist everyone is used to hearing, it doesn’t mean you can’t put your own spin on it and give it your own personal vibe. Never lose your own identity of who you are as a singer. Don’t be afraid to push any musical boundary and add your own flair to each song. Always tell a story. Be expressive every single time you sing with every word you sing.

By incorporating your own dynamics such as changing the volume, the intensity or the style, you connect with the audience because you will be conveying your own emotion to the song. Even different phrasing and interpretive choices will add to expression. It will create a captivating and more memorable performance. Authenticity goes a very long way.

Monitor your voice. Most singers perform in different locations, circumstances and situations. Many have careers and a life outside of singing. Singers should always be aware of how they use their voice each day. A singer’s voice is their instrument and needs to be protected so it’s strong enough to handle singing for hours at a gig.

Take vocal lessons. Think of a singer as an athlete. Athletes train and so should singers. Vocal coaches offer exercises to prepare vocals in order to target sound and texture. You will learn your range, develop control, flexibility and technique. Different styles need different coaching. For example, if you want to sing rock/pop music, you can learn to sing with a brassy, edgy quality.

Always warm up. I know that it sometimes seems like there is no time because we are constantly running from one thing to the next. By taking the time to do warm-up exercises, you will help your voice transition from your speaking to your singing range. We don’t speak and sing in the same range so it’s important to take time to warm up so that you are more easily able to reach various pitches and notes without straining or harming your voice.

Develop breath control. Breath control is fundamental for singing. It allows you to sustain long notes, control dynamics and give a powerful performance. It gives you more control over your voice and improves your overall technique.

Proper posture is crucial for optimal performance. Stand up straight, relax your shoulders and be sure that your neck and head are aligned with your spine. Having proper posture will allow your breath to flow, improve lung capacity and will enhance your vocal resonance. Try not to slouch or tense your muscles as doing so will restrict your vocal range and have a negative affect on your vocal quality.

Vocal resonance is the richness and depth of your voice. When you develop resonance, your voice will be fuller with more vibrancy. When you project your voice forward rather than trying to push or strain to be louder, you will enhance your vocals.

Just like warming up, you should cool down. Vocal cool-down exercises can help with recovery after singing for hours. There are various slides/glide exercises that can be found online. One of my vocal coaches taught me the Titze straw exercise. On your ride home, keep the music off and stay quiet. Your voice needs to recover.

Always pace yourself. Try to organize your setlist so that all songs that are highly vocally demanding aren’t one right after the other.

Change the key to fit your voice. If a song is too high, a semitone can make a big difference. When you have a sing-a-long song with a higher chorus, it’s very common practice for lead singers to turn the microphone toward the crowd to have them sing during the chorus. This will give you a break while you are engaging the audience.

Get your sound right. This is crucial. Vocals are not amplified and cannot compete with electronic instruments. If you overwork to be heard over the drums and electronic instruments, you can lose your voice. Be aware of both your microphone and monitor position and be sure your sound equipment is correctly adjusted. If all of these parameters are in order, you will not have to work so hard to project your voice in order to be heard. Always take time before the gig to work on sound and so a thorough sound check.

A couple of other tips are to record yourself so that you can hear your progress and practice every day

Becoming a lead singer is a journey. You will need to be patient, consistent and have an innate willingness to learn and practice. With these things, nothing can stand in your way.