Why to Lose the Negativity and Remain Positive

24 Thursday Mar 2016

Posted by Darielle Brooklyn in Inspiration, Motivation, Positivity, Uncategorized

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It’s true. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

Every single day, events occur which give us the choice of how we choose to respond. Did you know that a single event can invoke vastly different responses from different people? Whenever anything happens, we are always given a choice of either responding positively or negatively. It’s a sad fact that a significant number of people choose negativity even over the most trivial things. Being negative every so often is acceptable but there is no reason to be a chronic negative person. Did you know that negativity has a widespread effect on your quality of life as well as an effect on those who are around you?

Negativity, just like positivity, is contagious. We all have neurons called mirror neurons. Mirror neurons allow us to sympathize with others after observing their facial expressions and/or actions, allowing us to synchronize with each others’ emotions. We are capable of sympathy because our mirror neurons are able to duplicate the pattern of activity of another person’s brain.

Did you ever notice how you feel happy when you are around happy people? The same holds true when we are in the presence of a sad person. A sad person’s mood will dampen our spirits. In a way, you owe it to others to stay positive. Wouldn’t it be better for others to feel happy in your company rather than you being responsible for bringing their spirits down?

Negativity is like a disease, a nasty and contagious disease. Please keep it to yourself. In reality, no one want to contract your negativity.

Negativity is draining. Most humans are sympathetic. Negativity triggers off a person’s sympathy. Most of the time, people cannot ignore a negative mindset because sympathy is actually a form of instinct. It’s something that is wired into our brain. Negativity is like a human black hole. It comes out of nowhere and just sucks the life out of you. No matter how hard you try to stay positive and remain strong, a person’s negativity ends up draining you. You then feel exhausted and you may actually start to feel depressed too. It becomes a vicious struggle.

Negativity can make you ill. When you are negative, your body knows it. The master gland in your brain known as the hypothalamus begins secreting cortisol, causing blood glucose to rise. Prolonged periods of negativity will cause blood glucose levels to remain elevated for long periods of time. This can eventually lead to glucose intolerance and diabetes.

Negative people are stressed people. Stress causes your body to release ghrelin, which is a hunger hormone. This hormone increases your appetite and plays a major role in your body weight. Not only will you seek out a lot more food but more often than not, you will seek out foods that are very high in sugar. I don’t need to tell you that foods high in sugar are very unhealthy. They cause inflammation in your arteries which can then cause clogged arteries. One is then at a high risk for high blood pressure, a stroke and heart disease. Is this worth a negative attitude?

The fact is that negativity is a bad habit. It is something that affects you and those around you. Negativity spreads because we all have mirror neurons and we have no control over it. In the process, we become emotionally drained. Negativity also affects your physical health.

Remember this: For every negative, there IS a positive. Find and focus on the positive. You owe it to yourself and those around you to remain positive.

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When a Friendship Ends

23 Wednesday Mar 2016

Posted by Darielle Brooklyn in Friendship, Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

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coping, friends, Friendship, Grief, Loss

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In our lives, friends come and go. Sometimes friendships will simply fade away and other times, they end with a nasty argument or betrayal.

Maybe your friendship ended over something trivial or over something more serious. Friendships can sometimes end because of one’s truthfulness and the other person’s unwillingness to hear the truth about how they may be sabotaging themselves. Personally, when I see a friend behaving in a way that is negative and self-destructive, I have a hard time keeping that to myself. The unfortunate truth is that no matter how gently you approach a situation with some people, they will not be willing to accept the truth or the responsibilities for their actions.

If you have found yourself in a similar situation and you’re wondering what you can do to accept the loss of a friendship, here are a few things that might help.

Go Through The Motions. Nobody wants to feel sadness or anger, but these emotions are a part of life. Allow yourself permission to feel any and all emotions and if you need to get your frustration out, then do it in a constructive way. Negative emotions become toxic when we don’t allow them to escape our bodies. I personally believe that negative emotions held in the body cause sickness. It’s crucial to allow yourself to experience these emotions. Remember, the sooner you let them out, the sooner you will be done with them.

Find The Lesson. What did you learn from the friendship and it’s ending? With everything we experience in life, there is always a lesson to learn. When you are ready, willing and able to do so, ask yourself what you can take away from this experience and see how you can apply it to your life.

How Does This Serve You? It might be strange to think of the end of a friendship as serving you, but I also believe that everything happens for a reason. After you have allowed yourself to go through the emotions as well as to find the lesson, it’s then time to ask how releasing this friendship serves you.

Bury It or Burn It. If there is absolutely no chance of reconciliation, a symbolic burial or cremation will help. As dramatic as it sounds, it’s extremely effective in cleansing and healing your spirit.

To do this, you will need to write down all of your feelings about the situation. Be completely honest and write down everything! You can write this in the form of a letter to your ex-friend or as a journal entry to yourself. Let your thoughts and feelings flow from your mind and your heart and allow those thoughts and feelings to transfer onto paper.

Once you are done writing, find a place where you can bury the letter or burn it. If you choose to bury it, do it away from your home. You do not want any of that negative energy hanging around your property.

Dig up the earth and place your writings into the ground or into the fire. Say some words, words similar to that of a eulogy at a funeral. You may find it healing to thank your friend for the time they shared in your life as well as thank them for the lesson learned. Speak of good times only. Say a prayer for your friend and wish them well.

This symbolic funeral cuts all ties and emotions as you are officially announcing that the friendship is now dead and over.

Give it Time. If there is any chance of reconciling, let some time go by. After you have given it sufficient time you can sending your ex-friend a message. Send a message either by phone, text or email, to let your friend know that you would like to talk. In your message, be sure to discuss only the good times the two of you shared and how the friendship enriched your life. Speaking in a positive way is much healthier and more productive than bringing up the negativity of the friendship’s ending. Giving it time and then speaking only in a positive tone can open the door to communication and reconciliation if both of you wish that to happen.

I wish you the best and hope everything works out for you.

Surviving the Loss of Your Adult Sibling

16 Wednesday Mar 2016

Posted by Darielle Brooklyn in bereavement, Grief, Uncategorized

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bereavement, death, death of a sibling, Grief, Loss, sibling loss

The most neglected loss in adult life is that of the death of a sibling. Though many of us will face this loss, society believes that the loss of a sibling during our adult life has little to no disruptive effect on surviving brothers and sisters. This couldn’t be further from the truth! The loss has significant meant and mourning the loss can be very difficult.

A relationship between siblings has unique and very special characteristics. Much research has been conducted and it has been concluded that brothers and sisters greatly influence each other with regards to identity, self-concept and personality. The sibling relationship is more complex than most other relationships. There is a mixture of affection and ambivalence, camaraderie and fierce competition. There is no one else who knows us better other than our parents and, just like our parents, our siblings have been there from the very beginning. However, unlike our parents, our siblings are people we assume will be part of our lives for the rest of our lives. In terms of the span of time, the intimacy, and the shared experience of childhood, no other relationship rivals the connection we have with our adult brothers or sisters. From bullies in school to teenage broken hearts, from careers to marriage to unfulfilled dreams, our siblings have been there through all of it. They were beside us through our journey through time. Our siblings are our keeper of secrets, they are our first friends as well as our rivals for our parents’ affections. They are a secure and familiar constant in an often precarious and uncertain world.

The loss of a sibling in adulthood is the loss of someone who shared your childhood history with you. Your sibling was a major part of your past and is part of the roots to your past. Your sibling shares common memories as well as critical childhood experiences and family history. For this reason when you lose a sibling, you also lose one of your major connections to your past.

Your sibling knew you in a different way, a way those who know you as an adult will never understand. Consequently and unfortunately, a constant is gone. This can cause you to feel anxious and insecure. Even if you didn’t have constant contact with your sibling, you still had the security of knowing another member of your family was there. Your sibling has a symbolic spot in your life even if they weren’t part of your day-to-day life.

When you lose a sibling in adulthood, it can make you feel older and cause you to see that your family is dwindling. Sometimes this may cause the surviving sibling to be concerned about their own death if they lost their sibling to an illness or disease.

Mourning after the loss of a sibling can be complicated. The ambivalence that is normally present in a sibling relationship may bring on guilt and guilt in turn, will complicate mourning.

Depending on the relationship, you may feel guilt and regret if the relationship was not what you had always wished it would be. There may be guilt because you feel you did not spend enough time together or that you argued too often. Many siblings experience survivor guilt especially when they remember times that they wished their sibling would just disappear.

The adult who loses a sibling shares many similar issues with parents who lose adult children. You may find you do not have much part in decisions pertaining to the death and the funeral. The lack of control is combined with the failure of others to recognize that you too are profoundly bereaved. Much of the attention will go to the deceased’s parents, spouse and children.

How many times did I personally hear “I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. How is your Mom?” Or “You need to be strong for your Mom. She is hurting so bad and needs you so much right now.” These are just a couple of unhelpful and quite honestly, hurtful things that bereaved siblings often hear. People tend to give their focus of their sympathy to the surviving parents, spouse or children. They often ignore the grief of the sibling. Siblings are unfortunately overlooked in their own heartache and grief. Do you realize there are actually more books on losing a pet than losing a sibling?

Adult siblings often suppress their grief. They immediately fall into the role of caregiver for their surviving parents or for the sibling’s spouse and children. Adult siblings sense a loss deep within the core of their being. Siblings after all, are the lens that we look through often to see our childhood. Many adults admit that no one inside or outside of their family recognized this.

When grief is delayed or suppressed, often due to falling into these roles, mourning also gets delayed and suppressed. No one gets to skip mourning. You either need to complete the grief work or risk getting stuck or frozen in your grief. The latter may cause significant consequences, such as anxiety, depression or illness.

If your sibling lived in another state, it may be extremely difficult to accept their death since there is no acute absence to signal that he or she is permanently gone. This will even further complicate grief.

Death of a sibling changes family roles and relationships. This can greatly cause additional losses or extreme stress. The death may change your position in the family. You now may be the eldest and expected to care for your parent. You may have instantly become an only child, or both.

The fact is when a sibling dies, you lose both the past and the future. When you lose your sibling, you grieve for what was in the past and you grieve for what should have been the future.

My brother’s death shook me to my core but I choose to live each day to its fullest. Perhaps I am strong but the truth is my brother’s loss will remain with me for my entire life, just like he was supposed to.

Please remember you are not alone and you are not forgotten. Just like me, you will carry your sibling with you throughout your life. They will forever remain in our hearts, thoughts and memories.

I am deeply sorry for your loss.

Why I Decided to Give My Children an Online Education

14 Monday Mar 2016

Posted by Darielle Brooklyn in Education, Homeschool, Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

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children, Education, Homeschool, online school, school, teens, virtual school

First let me say one thing. There were things about public school that we actually did enjoy.

I loved helping out in my boys’ classrooms as well as volunteering in the school library during their library time and volunteering in their art class. I loved being their room mom, attending their class parties, their field trips and watching them enjoy field day. The boys loved all of these things as well. There were also school festivals, the Mother and Son Dances and other events we also all enjoyed.

Yes, there were some fun experiences they got in the public school system. But after a very long talk over many, many months, as a family we decided that we wanted something different.

We no longer wanted to be rushed in the mornings.
We no longer wanted to feel overwhelmed everyday.
We wanted a more relaxed, schedule-free and flexible pace of life.
We wanted to be present with each other for daily moments.

Since starting online school, one of the best perks is that my children are more well-rested. They are also much healthier. There is no rushing at night to get into bed and fall asleep. They no longer have to be woken up while it’s still dark outside. They no longer need to go out during the wee hours of the morning in the freezing cold or the pouring rain. They get to go to sleep when they want and wake up when their bodies are ready. They are able to enjoy the days of the gorgeous weather and on warm days, they can swim in our pool rather than sit in a stagnant building all day long.

My children have much more freedom. They eat when they want and the food choices are much healthier. If they get hungry or thirsty, they can get whatever they want. They don’t need permission. They also don’t need to ask for permission to use the bathroom. They no longer have to wait in line for anything. They are no longer being told to be quiet or to hurry up.

Another great perk is that illnesses have pretty much left my house. They are no longer around children whose parents send them to school sick. My boys used to get strep throat 5 or 6 times a school year. I can’t remember the last time they needed an antibiotic!

Online school gives my children the freedom to work on developing their own individual passions. When they were in public school, they were gone for 7.5 hours and then came home with hours of homework to complete. My children now finish their school work in a couple of hours and then have many hours throughout the day to develop their own passions such as music, 3D Art, drawing, writing movie scripts and more!

My boys can focus on their work without distractions from my other classmates.
For many students, school is such a huge distraction, especially where the focus in often more on socializing and fitting in rather then on learning.

I cannot tell you how often non-homeschooling people ask how I “socialize” my children outside of school. Well for one thing, I talk to them, they talk to each other, and they see their friends. We also go out often and they talk to people of all ages, which is more than I can say for school. Children who are interacting with others of all ages are exposed to much richer life experiences.

As much as people think children socialize in school, let’s be real: Socializing is strictly forbidden. The second a child walks into a classroom, they need to zip their lips and pay attention. How many times do children hear, “You’re not here to socialize.” Children literally only have a few minutes at recess and lunch or in between classes to talk. It’s no wonder why conversation devolves into slang and 4-letter words.

Some more reasons:

Parents know and understand their children and are influential in their lives.
Children are allowed to mature at their own speeds. There is no “hurried child” syndrome.
Parents are the primary role models.
An online education provides positive and appropriate socialization with both peers and adults.
Peer pressure is almost non-existent.
There is no exposure to drugs or alcohol.
Children who have an online education are comfortable interacting with people of all ages.
Family values and beliefs are central to social, emotional and academic development.
Family life revolves around its own needs and priorities rather than the demands of school.
Positive sibling relationships are created and maintained.
Bullying does not exist.
Good communication and emotional closeness within a family is created and maintained.
Research shows that the two most important factors in reading and overall educational success are positive home influence and parental involvement. An online education provides both.
A child’s natural thirst for learning is nurtured.
Each child’s education can be tailored to his or her unique interests, pace, and learning style.
There is an abundance of time to pursue special interests and talents.
The flexibility is endless.
Children become much more independent thinkers who are secure in their own convictions.

In summary, my children are happier than they have ever been. Life isn’t about a score on a standardize test. I see so many bumper stickers about someone’s child’s education. Sad. My children are so much more than a test score. They will remember the nurturing and love they received all while still being straight A students!

Quite frankly, I’ve seen the village and I don’t want it raising my children.

The Waves of Grief

04 Friday Mar 2016

Posted by Darielle Brooklyn in Grief, Inspiration, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

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bereavement, Grief, healing, heartbreak, Loss

Can you imagine someone you love, that you spent so much of your life with and were wholeheartedly bonded to, being taken away from you so unexpectedly? Can you imagine being so blindsided and left in a complete daze from the impact?

The thought of never being able to see them again, the thought of never being able to hug them again, not being able see their smile or hear their laughter is heartbreaking.

They were right there in front of me. They lived, moved and breathed. They were alive and then in an instant, they were gone… forever. No matter how hard I will it, I can’t undo it. I look at their photos and just cannot comprehend that I can never see them again no matter how much I know it’s real.

Can you imagine that sick feeling hitting deep down in the pit of your stomach because you know you will never again take anymore picture with them? Can you imagine the feeling of knowing they will never grow any older than the last photos that you have of them?

They’re right there frozen in time in front of your eyes and you are frozen right there with them feeling despair at the thought of not being able to stay there forever because time doesn’t give you that choice.

After the initial impact and when your head is a little less foggy, you start going through the motions of functioning until at some point, you actual do start to function. It’s at this point that you honestly aren’t sure if you’re healing from the devastation or if you are numb.

But then, suddenly, the grief tsunamis hit you and your head starts running away with your heart. All of the thoughts rush in, panic begins and you remember that you have to live like this, without them, for the rest of your life. Suddenly, it’s hard to breathe again. The thoughts go through your head and once again you’re desperately screaming inside for it to stop.

The tsunamis will come just like they do in our great big oceans. They are part of this grief journey and they are a deafening, knee-dropping reminder of our powerlessness.

Somehow though, despite it all, you see that there is something else. You realize that there is something large and beautiful out there in the vast ocean. It’s so grand that it’s beyond our comprehension. We bow to its majesty and without fully understanding, we find a calm in its fragrant, crisp air. Sprinkles of salt fall onto our skin and it’s heaviness begins to melt away. The waves return back to a gentle, low tide and you are able to breathe again and admire it’s beauty.

Love does this. The love that I receive from my children and my husband does this. The love that I give back does this.

The holes in my heart from the loss of my dad and my brother are permanent and are part of me forever. I am changed forever.

I choose to survive the tsunamis. I embrace them, deal with them and hold on the best I can.

Do you?

Life Lessons I Teach My Sons

01 Tuesday Mar 2016

Posted by Darielle Brooklyn in Family, parenting, Uncategorized

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boys, life lessons, life skills, parenting, skills, sons

Always be kind. It is the best way to show your amazing character.
Your family will always be the most valuable part of your life.
You can’t control how others treat you. You can control how you respond to them.
There are wonderful and not-so-wonderful people in the world.
Respect others and expect it for yourself.
Always use your best manners.
Be responsible.
Ask for everything you want. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.
Look people in the eye when you are speaking with them.
Hold your head up high and be proud of who you are.
Be compassionate to both people and animals.
It’s okay to cry.
Actions speak louder than words.
Stand up for what you believe in.
When you are kind to others, you show true strength in who you are.
Enjoy life and always live each day to the fullest.
Always be authentic. Be yourself. Don’t ever pretend to be something you are not in order to please other people.
Create the life you desire. You are responsible for your own life.
Live your dream. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. Do what you want to do with your life.
Understand the value of money.
Don’t litter and always recycle. Take care of your world.
Wear sunscreen.
Use your creativity and imagination as much as possible.
Have hobbies. They cultivate creativity.
At the end of the day, as long as you did your best and love your reflection in the mirror, feel proud of yourself.
Smile and laugh as much as you can.
Savor each moment.
You can’t please everyone and it isn’t your job to do so.
Take the risks necessary in order to pursue your dreams. Take advantage of given moments so that you won’t have regrets later.
Be honest.
Stay humble.
Remember that everyone who plays a part in your life is there to teach you a lesson. Sometimes it’s a good lesson, sometimes not but you will learn from the experience.
When in a relationship, whether with a significant other or a friendship, don’t ever make excuses if someone mistreats you. There is never a reason for someone to mistreat you. Don’t ever accept mental, physical or emotional abuse!!
Choose your words wisely. They are powerful.
You can have anything in life you want. If you want it badly enough, you need to work hard enough to get it.
Never settle for less than you deserve.
People make mistakes. Forgive them.
Take responsibility for your mistakes because you will make them too.
Don’t let anyone take advantage of your forgiving nature.
Be the person you want people to think you are.
Live in a way that you want to be remembered for.
Be grateful. Appreciate everyone and everything for which you are blessed with in your life.
You can accomplish anything.
There is magic in every single day.
For every negative, there is a positive.
Age doesn’t matter, it’s only a number. You are as young as you feel.
Exercise. It’s necessary for the mind, body and soul.
Eat healthy. Watch your sugar intake.
Life will sometimes be hard. You will get through it.
Live a spiritual life. There is something greater than all of us out there.
There is only one you. You are beautifully unique.
I will always be here for you.
You are loved more than you can imagine.

What words of wisdom do you live by that you will pass down to your children?

How Live a Happier and More Joyful Life

29 Monday Feb 2016

Posted by Darielle Brooklyn in Happiness, How to, Inspiration, Uncategorized

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Happiness, How to, joy, joyful, positive, Positivity

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Happiness is not solely a result. It is also a driving force.

Everyone wants to be happy. In fact, the right to pursue happiness is even written into our country’s Bill of Rights. Do you know how to be genuinely happy? Do you know the best way to acquire true happiness? The truth is that you can greatly increase your happiness levels and gain more satisfaction with your life. It has nothing to do with winning the lottery. It has everything to do with your own change of perspective and your own attitude. Great news, right? Yes. Because it’s something that mostly anyone can accomplish.

Retrain Your Brain to be More Positive

The first thing you will need to do is to teach and train your brain to be more positive. A sole reaction to focus on the negative will undoubtedly lead to stress and unhappiness. Remember, for every negative there is a positive. I know there are times in life when things are very difficult. I’m certainly not telling you to put your head in the sand and to ignore a terrible situation. I’m also not saying to pretend everything is always 100% perfect. I am just asking you to find the positive in a difficult situation and focus on it. Remember dwelling on the negative will cause stress and unhappiness. This will also cause depression and anxiety. However, if you choose to notice and focus on and appreciate the positive, it will be a powerful happiness booster.

Exercise

It’s a no-brainer that regular exercise is good for your heart as well as your body to burn fat, build muscle and allow you to maintain a healthy weight. It also causes the release of endorphins, the feel-good chemicals that promote happiness. People who exercise regularly are happier. They are less stressed, less anxious and much less depressed.

Penn State University conducted a study and found that the more physically active people are, the greater their feelings of excitement and enthusiasm. Less physically active people had much lower levels of excitement and enthusiasm.

It doesn’t matter what kind of exercise you do, as long as you do it regularly. You should aim for an hour a day of exercise, five days a week. It’s important to find something that you enjoy because you’ll be more apt to commit to it and stick with it. You aren’t limited to the gym or running outside. There are numerous ways to exercise. You can join a dance class, take brisk walks, play tennis, swim, take up yoga, or go for a powerful bike ride. The key is to find something active that you enjoy.

Express an Attitude of Gratitude

Teaching yourself to become more grateful can make a huge difference in your overall happiness. Gratitude will help you experience more positive emotions, decrease depression, feel better about yourself, improve your relationships, and even strengthen your immune system.

There are a number of things you can do to increase and cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

Be sincerely thankful towards others. When someone goes out of their way and does something to make your day easier, be sure to express your appreciation. You will not only make that person feel good, but it will also boost your happiness. It subconsciously causes you to realize that you we are all connected and everything we do matters to others.
Keep a gratitude journal. I can’t express this one enough. I’ve also discussed this is a prior blog. At the end of the day, when you recognize and write down 5 things for which you were thankful on that particular day, it is powerful. Research has concluded that keeping a gratitude journal is a powerful technique that makes you feel happier and more appreciative.
Count your blessings. Retrain your mind to reflect on what you have to be thankful for. This includes people, life experiences and even material things such as having a roof over your head or food to eat. Focus on all of your blessings, whether they are big or small. You will be surprised to see that it’s actually a pretty long list.
Turn the negative into a positive. Remember, even the most painful circumstances are able to teach us a positive lesson. Reevaluate a negative event. Realize what you learned from it or how you became stronger, wiser or more compassionate. Once you are able to find meaning in things you’ve experienced, you will be more grateful.

Nurture Your Relationships

Relationships are one of the biggest sources of happiness in our lives. The happier a person is, the more likely it is that they have a large, supportive circle of family and friends, a loving marriage, and a thriving social life.

Nurturing your relationships is one of the best emotional investments you can make. If you make an effort to build connections with others, you will reap the rewards of more positive emotions. When you are happier, you attract more people into your life and you build higher-quality relationships. This leads to even greater positivity and happiness. It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

There are a number of ways to nurture relationships.

Make a conscious effort to stay connected. One of the biggest end-of-life regreats that people have is losing touch with their friends. This doesn’t need to happen to you. Make an effort to stay connected to the people who make your life brighter. Take the time to call, and get together with those that matter. You’ll be happier.
Invest in quality time with the people you care about. Spending time with family and friends isn’t enough. It’s the quality of time that you spend that truly matters. If you are just sitting together watching television, it’s not going to strengthen your relationship. Those who are in happy relationships talk to each other. They share things with each other things that are going on in their lives. They share their feelings.
Offer sincere compliments. Let those that matter in your life know that you appreciate them. It will certainly make them feel happy but it will also encourage them to be an even better friend or partner toward you. It will also allow you to value your relationship with them more and cause you to feel happier.
Seek out happy people. Just like laughter, happiness is contagious. You can literally catch a good mood so make an effort to seek out happy people and spend time with them.
Allow the good fortune of others to bring you joy. One of the things that truly separates healthy relationships from unhealthy relationships is how people respond to each others’ good fortunes and successes. Show genuine enthusiasm and interest when your friend or family member experiences something wonderful. If you truly want a closer relationships, pay attention when the other person is excited. Ask questions. Express your excitement for them. Remember happiness is contagious, so as you listen to and share their experience, their joy actually becomes your joy too.

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Live in the Moment and Savor Life’s Joys

When you focus on the present moment, you feel centered, happy and at peace. You are likely to notice the good things that are happening around you, rather than letting them pass you by.

There are many ways you can start living more in the moment and savor the good things that life has to offer.

Begin daily rituals. Enjoyable rituals can increase moments of enjoyment into your day. It can be something so simple such as that first cup of coffee in the morning. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it’s something that you truly enjoy and appreciate.
Minimize multi-tasking. Savoring moments requires your full attention. This is pretty much impossible if you are doing numerous things at once. For example, when you are enjoying a meal, is it necessary to surf the internet. You will get more pleasure out of the food you are eating if you simply focus on your meal. By focusing on one thing at a time, you will maximize the enjoyment of it.
Revisit happy memories. There is no need to limit yourself to things that are happening now in the present. When you remember and reminisce about happy memories and experiences from your past, it leads to more positive emotions in the present.

Help Others

There is something to be said for helping others and feeling like you are making a difference in another person’s life. Those who help those in need and give back to their community are happier. People who help others have higher self-esteem as well as an overall psychological well-being.

Here are some ways to live a more giving life:

Volunteer. If you volunteer for an organization that you believe strongly in, you will reap the benefit of feeling happy. Happiness is a reaction when you contribute in a meaningful way.
Practice kindness. Always look for ways to be kinder, more compassionate and giving with each new day. It’s such a simple thing to smile at a stranger and brighten their day. A small gesture goes a long way.
Play to your strengths. The happiest people know what their strengths are, They build their lives around activities that allow them to use those strengths. There are many different types of strengths, including kindness, honesty, creativity, optimism, loyalty and humor. We all have strengths. Find yours and use it!

Get the Right Amount Sleep

Sleep is as essential to life as are air, food and water. Getting quality sleep every night directly affects your happiness, vitality and emotional stability during the day. It is during sleep that your body recharges, heals and regenerates.

When you’re sleep deprived, you’re much more susceptible to stress. Without enough sleep, it’s harder to be productive and make smart decisions.

There is also such thing as over-sleeping. Adults who sleep nine or more hours each night have an increased and rapid decline in their cognitive function than those who sleep between six and eight hours. This is a major risk factor for dementia. Sleeping longer than nine hours a night also increases your risk of obesity, heart disease, heart attack and stroke.

The optimal sleep hours are seven to eight hours a night. Aim for this and your happiness meter will rise!

Get a Pet

Pets not only provide unconditional love but studies have shown that mental sharpness is improved and blood pressure is lowered when we stroke our pets. Pets keep us more active, teach us empathy, increase our social connections, give us emotional support as well as bring order to our lives. This is a great way to increase happiness! If you are unable to own a pet, consider volunteering at an animal shelter.

Eat Healthy Foods

People who live longer tend to eat healthier. Junk food may taste good but the truth is you need to eat the right foods.

A healthy diet reduces your risk of diabetes, heart disease, stroke and cancer. Eighty percent of the food you eat should come from nature. Foods such as fruits, vegetables, lean meat, nuts, legumes, dairy and whole grains are natural foods. Stay away from processed food and fast food at all costs. It’s not only taking years off of your life but it’s taking life off of your years.

Eating healthy food every 3-4 hours will cause you to feel more positive and energetic thereby creating a flow of happiness.

In summary, once you decide to make your own happiness the chief focus of your life, you will be living a life of joy that you achieved through your own efforts.

Which of these suggestions will you incorporate into your own life?

Why You Should Hire an Online Personal Trainer

24 Wednesday Feb 2016

Posted by Darielle Brooklyn in Fitness, Motivation, Personal Training, Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

exercise, Fitness, online training, Personal Training, training, workout

Whether you are looking to lose weight, get in better physical shape or reduce stress, there are many benefits of choosing an online personal trainer over paying for an expensive gym membership with the additional hourly fee cost of a live personal trainer.

The most important aspects of online personal training and why it is an excellent solution for overall health as well as a solution for reaching your fitness goals will be discussed.

Convenience

The most obvious aspect of online fitness training is that it is super convenient. It is available to you any time of the day or night. If you need guidance, your trainer is always available via email and sometimes via text messaging. You will always receive a response in an acceptable turnaround time.

Another convenience is that there are numerous demonstration and instructional videos available to you online. More often than not, you will be able to find the information you are looking for without even having to email your trainer.

Goal achievement

An online personal trainer will give you a proper program in order for you to reach your goals after an initial telephone consultation/evaluation. Your trainer will ask you numerous questions about your lifestyle, health, any current fitness program, eating habits and medical history in order to determine what exercises are best for you and what nutritional plan will best suit your health.

Personalized workout

This is not a cookie cutter workout by any means. As mentioned earlier, your trainer will personalize your workout and food plan to meet your specific needs and goals. When writing your program, your trainer will consider your present eating habits as well as your schedule in order to design a perfect regime for you.

Personal trainers use their education, knowledge and experience to provide you with tips and recommendations in order to help you develop a healthier lifestyle. They will even share recipes and recommend new foods as well as help you manage menus when you eat away from home.

Instruction

After your program is finalized, you are not left alone to figure everything out. As stated above, your trainer will respond via email or text to guide you through each stage to ensure that you reach your goal. Your trainer will also explain each exercise each time your workout plan is revised (usually every 2 weeks).

Motivation

Most fitness plans fail because of one’s lack of motivation. When you have a personal trainer, it is much easier to stay motivated. They are there cheering you on through your entire fitness journey and if needed, your trainer will give you a pep talk to motivate you to get you back on track.

Accountability

Lack of commitment is a main problem for any fitness program. When you hire a personal trainer, they make sure you are accountable for your actions so that you stick to the program. When you know you are held accountable, you will achieve your fitness goals much easier. Personal trainers care about your health and well-being and they will hold you accountable to take care of yourself physically as well as nutritionally. Remember, the better you look, the better they look!

Non Judgmental Support

Your trainer cares about you and your success. They will provide consistent feedback to help you achieve your goals. Your trainer will never make you feel inadequate and will never be judgmental.

How many times have you walked into a gym and worried about how you looked performing a certain exercise or if your form was on point. How many times have you looked at others and compared yourself to how they look or how they were doing a certain exercise?

When you have an online personalized program, there is no judging. There is no intimidation. Your trainer will also help you acknowledge your success no matter or small when you don’t even see it yourself. Remember, they are rooting for you!

Variety

Another aspect that causes the lack of motivation and commitment is lack of variety. It can certainly get monotonous doing the same thing over and over again. Your personal trainer will have you do different exercises each day and they will make sure to change your workout plan every couple of weeks so that you get a variety of exercises. You won’t be bored!

Success Rate

The success rate for weight loss, muscle gain or general fitness goals are much higher when you hire a personal trainer. They are certified instructors and have studied the science that goes behind every single exercise or any food plan which they recommend. In lieu of a trial and error approach that will only cause you frustration, it’s a great idea to hire an expert to write you out a personalized plan of action that is going to work.

Results

This is the best part! Working with a personal trainer will allow you to achieve certain results that you are simply not able to achieve on your own. Your personal trainer is going to develop goals with you and you will be lead down the path of success.

Please be sure to do your research to be assured that the person that you hire is credible. I can certainly recommend my personal trainer. His name is Ralph Remy (he is AH-MAY-ZING) and his email is RalphRemy1@gmail.com. You won’t be disappointed!

I hope this has helped you and I wish you much success on your fitness journey!

Are You Adopted?

20 Saturday Feb 2016

Posted by Darielle Brooklyn in Adoption, Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

adoptee, Adoption, adoption search, adoptive family, biological famiy, birth family, birth father, birth mother, Family, parenting, siblings

For as long as I can remember, I have known I was adopted. I was told at a very young age by my parents and I am so grateful to them for that wonderful gift.

I never felt different but like all adopted children, I had the usual questions. Questions such as: Where do I come from? Who do I look like?

Family resemblances in other families were also extremely noticeable to me because I never knew anyone growing up who looked like me. That’s something definitely taken for granted by children born into their family.

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I am also grateful because I always knew that I was wanted. My parents always made that very clear. They used to tell me I was chosen. As a child, I used to think that was one of the nicest and coolest things ever. This is another amazing gift given to me.

When I was younger and still to this very day, I find it extremely irritating when someone asks me if I know who my “real parents” are. Why yes, I actually do. That would be my Mom and Dad, the people who cared for me and nurtured me my entire life. That would be the parents who took care of me when I was sick, provided for me, helped me through tough times, cried with me, laughed with me, and much, much more.

Because of the love and security I was surrounded by, I never once felt the need or desire to search for my birth family. I never yearned for another “family.” I grew up very content knowing how blessed I was with the family I had right there around me.

To this day, I honestly feel as if my Mom gave birth to me. I have never felt different. I never felt ostracized by any of my family members. Everyone in our family was always very loving and nurturing. I grew up surrounded by love. Blessed.

Unfortunately and understandably, many adoptees are angry. Through stories I’ve heard first-hand or things I’ve read through the years, others did not grow up in nurturing and loving homes. They are angry with their birth mother for putting them up for adoption because of the life they were forced to face.

I am blessed to feel no anger towards my birth mother. She had her reasons for putting me up for adoption and I am beyond thankful that she made the decision to do so. The fact is if she hadn’t decided to do so, I would never be who I am or where I am today. I would never have known the love that I grew up with. I would never have been blessed with my Mom, Dad and brother, let alone my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

I also respect and understand the fact that some adoptees need to search in order to find out where they came from. My brother was actually one of them. He always wanted to know, but unfortunately he was never successful in getting the answers he wanted. Adoption affected him entirely differently than it did me even though we were raised in the same home. This alone proves that our reaction to adoption is such an individual and personal thing.

If you are considering searching for your birth family, there are some pros and cons that you need to consider.

Pros

You will get a chance to have your questions answered such as Where do I come from? Who do I look like? Why was I put up for adoption? By getting answers to these questions, you will gain a stronger sense of identity.

You will be able to see others who resemble you.

You will meet others who share your DNA.

You will have a chance of an extended family with siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.

You can obtain medical information.

Cons

There is a definite possibility of heartbreak and rejection. Your birth mother may not want the connection. She most likely will have a family and there is the unfortunate possibility that she never told them about you.

You will be turning your life upside down as well as that of your birth family and especially that of your adoptive family.

You may find out your birth mother or birth father is deceased.

You may discover reasons behind your adoption that you may be better off not learning.

You may meet people that, under normal circumstances, you’d never allow into your life.

These are just a few of the pros and cons. There is a lot to consider and the decision to search is one not to be taken lightly.

Just remember this: family is so more than blood and DNA. Blood and DNA may relate people to each other but bonds and loyalty are what make you family.

For me, adoption was a gift. For my parents, it was also a gift. A gift I would unwrap over and over again.

Love and Connection After Death

18 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by Darielle Brooklyn in Grief, Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

bereavement, death, Grief, Loss, Love, mouring, suicide

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Today is my parents’ 60th wedding anniversary so it seemed fitting for me to write about love continuing after the loss of someone you love.

Love is greater than death. Love is the one thing that will continue through time. Though the years go by and you begin to create memories without your loved one, the love still remains. Your loved ones live in both your heart and memories forever. The pain of their loss softens. The love stays just as strong.

I believe even the biggest skeptic, somewhere down deep, believes death is not the end. After all, energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can only be transformed. This allows for the belief that we are transformed after our physical body is gone. This belief also allows us to continue our relationships with our loved ones.

Here are some ways you can continue your relationship with your loved one:

Talk to Them

Whether you speak out loud or silently in your head, this is the most common way that you can continue a relationship with your loved one. Talking allows you to feel a powerful connection.

Write to Them

Buy yourself a journal. Whenever there is something that you want to share with them, write your loved one a letter. Just because you can no longer pick up the phone to share something with them doesn’t mean you can no longer communicate with them. Writing will bring you feelings of both strength and liberation. It’s powerful.

Include Your Loved One on Special Occasions

You will be thinking about your loved one and missing them. The only natural thing to do is to include them! One way you can do this is by setting a place setting for them at the holiday table. This allows you to feel that they are a part of the celebration.

Speak About Them to New People

Throughout your life, you are going to meet people who never got to know your loved one. These people may include a new friend, a significant other, or you may get married and have children. A way to keep your loved one’s legacy alive is to continue to keep their stories going. Tell new people things about them and show them photographs.

Continue to Make Them Proud

Live your best life, do your best and continue to make them proud as if they were still present in the physical form.

Have a Quilt Made of Their Clothing

Imagine yourself wrapped up in pieces of their clothing. Imagine feeling close and connected to them with a comforting reminder that their love is literally wrapped around you.

Wear a Piece of Their Jewelry

There is something to be said about wearing a piece of your loved one’s jewelry and feeling that connection. It is a comforting reminder of your loved one’s role in your life.

These are just a few ways to continue to feel connected to your loved one.

Remember, your loved one may physically be gone from your life but they are forever a part of you. You never have to let them go. They took a piece of you when they left the physical earth, yet at the same time, they left a piece of themselves behind for you. They are forever a part of you just as you are forever a part of them.

Your loved ones are forever in the sacred spaces of both your heart and mind. It is in these places where you can always reach for them and hug them.

I hope this brings you some comfort.