Tags
couples, energy, envy, healthy, jealousy, marriage, relationships, validation
In a relationship, validation is an extremely connecting power. To have a much closer and connected relationship, a partner needs to be excited when the other has something wonderful going on in their life.
Validation is crucial for a relationship to thrive. If you’re missing out on this extremely powerful relationship skill, it can be detrimental to your relationship.
It’s truly sad when someone chooses to not get genuinely excited for their partner’s success and happiness. As humans, it is natural to want to be around those that listen to us and validate us.
You should never feel stuck in an unsatisfying relationship. Effective communication is crucial here. If you feel unvalidated by your partner, let them know how you feel. Your feelings need to be a priority for you to express and for your partner to understand. The conversation doesn’t need to be combative nor intimidating. There are many ways to approach the issue in a respectful, non confrontational way.
There is nothing wrong with having expectations that things will change but the truth is we should never expect them to. It’s certainly reasonable to think that your partner will become more validating after your communication with them but it can go in one ear and out the other. We can’t control their reception or their reaction.
The bottom line is lack of support from our significant other is problematic. The lack of support can come from them being threatened by change or downright envy. Maybe your partner feels envious of what you are experiencing and your passion for it. Rather than being validating and excited for you, their immediate response is to be invalidating. Most likely, the reason for this is that they are harboring resentment because deep down they are wishing they were in your situation.
Healthy couples want the best for each other. They aren’t competitive. They root for each other. When one partner is not rooting for the other, it is because of a sense of inadequacy. In a healthy relationship, one partner’s success should affect the other in a positive way. They should each feel pride and admiration for each other and bask in the light from the other.
A step to correcting this is honesty. Admitting envy will be extremely difficult but harboring resentment will kill a relationship. Once admitted, it is important to have a heart-to-heart conversation.
Relationships will not always be sunshine and rainbows but they are supposed to bring us more joy than disappointment. Relationships with others should be positive with incredible, beautiful, and vibrant energy.
The bottom line is always do you and do you big! Never let someone who has a problem with your brightness dim you. Shine and shine brightly!
Darielle Brooklyn 