Life Lessons I Teach My Sons

01 Tuesday Mar 2016

Posted by Darielle Brooklyn in Family, parenting, Uncategorized

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Tags

boys, life lessons, life skills, parenting, skills, sons

Always be kind. It is the best way to show your amazing character.
Your family will always be the most valuable part of your life.
You can’t control how others treat you. You can control how you respond to them.
There are wonderful and not-so-wonderful people in the world.
Respect others and expect it for yourself.
Always use your best manners.
Be responsible.
Ask for everything you want. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.
Look people in the eye when you are speaking with them.
Hold your head up high and be proud of who you are.
Be compassionate to both people and animals.
It’s okay to cry.
Actions speak louder than words.
Stand up for what you believe in.
When you are kind to others, you show true strength in who you are.
Enjoy life and always live each day to the fullest.
Always be authentic. Be yourself. Don’t ever pretend to be something you are not in order to please other people.
Create the life you desire. You are responsible for your own life.
Live your dream. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. Do what you want to do with your life.
Understand the value of money.
Don’t litter and always recycle. Take care of your world.
Wear sunscreen.
Use your creativity and imagination as much as possible.
Have hobbies. They cultivate creativity.
At the end of the day, as long as you did your best and love your reflection in the mirror, feel proud of yourself.
Smile and laugh as much as you can.
Savor each moment.
You can’t please everyone and it isn’t your job to do so.
Take the risks necessary in order to pursue your dreams. Take advantage of given moments so that you won’t have regrets later.
Be honest.
Stay humble.
Remember that everyone who plays a part in your life is there to teach you a lesson. Sometimes it’s a good lesson, sometimes not but you will learn from the experience.
When in a relationship, whether with a significant other or a friendship, don’t ever make excuses if someone mistreats you. There is never a reason for someone to mistreat you. Don’t ever accept mental, physical or emotional abuse!!
Choose your words wisely. They are powerful.
You can have anything in life you want. If you want it badly enough, you need to work hard enough to get it.
Never settle for less than you deserve.
People make mistakes. Forgive them.
Take responsibility for your mistakes because you will make them too.
Don’t let anyone take advantage of your forgiving nature.
Be the person you want people to think you are.
Live in a way that you want to be remembered for.
Be grateful. Appreciate everyone and everything for which you are blessed with in your life.
You can accomplish anything.
There is magic in every single day.
For every negative, there is a positive.
Age doesn’t matter, it’s only a number. You are as young as you feel.
Exercise. It’s necessary for the mind, body and soul.
Eat healthy. Watch your sugar intake.
Life will sometimes be hard. You will get through it.
Live a spiritual life. There is something greater than all of us out there.
There is only one you. You are beautifully unique.
I will always be here for you.
You are loved more than you can imagine.

What words of wisdom do you live by that you will pass down to your children?

Are You Adopted?

20 Saturday Feb 2016

Posted by Darielle Brooklyn in Adoption, Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

adoptee, Adoption, adoption search, adoptive family, biological famiy, birth family, birth father, birth mother, Family, parenting, siblings

For as long as I can remember, I have known I was adopted. I was told at a very young age by my parents and I am so grateful to them for that wonderful gift.

I never felt different but like all adopted children, I had the usual questions. Questions such as: Where do I come from? Who do I look like?

Family resemblances in other families were also extremely noticeable to me because I never knew anyone growing up who looked like me. That’s something definitely taken for granted by children born into their family.

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I am also grateful because I always knew that I was wanted. My parents always made that very clear. They used to tell me I was chosen. As a child, I used to think that was one of the nicest and coolest things ever. This is another amazing gift given to me.

When I was younger and still to this very day, I find it extremely irritating when someone asks me if I know who my “real parents” are. Why yes, I actually do. That would be my Mom and Dad, the people who cared for me and nurtured me my entire life. That would be the parents who took care of me when I was sick, provided for me, helped me through tough times, cried with me, laughed with me, and much, much more.

Because of the love and security I was surrounded by, I never once felt the need or desire to search for my birth family. I never yearned for another “family.” I grew up very content knowing how blessed I was with the family I had right there around me.

To this day, I honestly feel as if my Mom gave birth to me. I have never felt different. I never felt ostracized by any of my family members. Everyone in our family was always very loving and nurturing. I grew up surrounded by love. Blessed.

Unfortunately and understandably, many adoptees are angry. Through stories I’ve heard first-hand or things I’ve read through the years, others did not grow up in nurturing and loving homes. They are angry with their birth mother for putting them up for adoption because of the life they were forced to face.

I am blessed to feel no anger towards my birth mother. She had her reasons for putting me up for adoption and I am beyond thankful that she made the decision to do so. The fact is if she hadn’t decided to do so, I would never be who I am or where I am today. I would never have known the love that I grew up with. I would never have been blessed with my Mom, Dad and brother, let alone my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

I also respect and understand the fact that some adoptees need to search in order to find out where they came from. My brother was actually one of them. He always wanted to know, but unfortunately he was never successful in getting the answers he wanted. Adoption affected him entirely differently than it did me even though we were raised in the same home. This alone proves that our reaction to adoption is such an individual and personal thing.

If you are considering searching for your birth family, there are some pros and cons that you need to consider.

Pros

You will get a chance to have your questions answered such as Where do I come from? Who do I look like? Why was I put up for adoption? By getting answers to these questions, you will gain a stronger sense of identity.

You will be able to see others who resemble you.

You will meet others who share your DNA.

You will have a chance of an extended family with siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.

You can obtain medical information.

Cons

There is a definite possibility of heartbreak and rejection. Your birth mother may not want the connection. She most likely will have a family and there is the unfortunate possibility that she never told them about you.

You will be turning your life upside down as well as that of your birth family and especially that of your adoptive family.

You may find out your birth mother or birth father is deceased.

You may discover reasons behind your adoption that you may be better off not learning.

You may meet people that, under normal circumstances, you’d never allow into your life.

These are just a few of the pros and cons. There is a lot to consider and the decision to search is one not to be taken lightly.

Just remember this: family is so more than blood and DNA. Blood and DNA may relate people to each other but bonds and loyalty are what make you family.

For me, adoption was a gift. For my parents, it was also a gift. A gift I would unwrap over and over again.

Creating Memories for Your Children

16 Tuesday Feb 2016

Posted by Darielle Brooklyn in Family, Inspiration, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

children, family ties, How to, Love, memories, parenting, tradition

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Making memories with your children is a way to create a lasting sense of belonging and shared identity. Making memories also builds security in children while giving them a stronger sense of safety. Memories are part of what hold family life together.

There are many simple things you can do to create memories. These days, some families’ schedules are packed with sporting activities, school projects, music lessons and more. Because of this, life’s simple pleasures are often forgotten. If you take the time to recognize life’s simple pleasures, you can begin to create meaningful bonds and create lasting memories with your children.

Making memories is not only about family vacations or day trips. What is more important in creating family memories and bonds is how we interact with our children whether it be through our words or with our actions. Wouldn’t you rather be remembered for being present and loving rather than to be remembered as the family tour guide?

Shared memories are also one of the things that strengthen the bond between parents and teenagers. The “emotional deposits” made throughout childhood make communication much easier during their teen years.

Creating happy memories for our children is something that is very easy to do and it is very inexpensive.

Below are some ideas on how you can start creating memories with your children:

Give Them the Gift of Your Time

Children become more secure, confident and cooperative when you invest in quality time with them. When you spend separate quality time with each of your children, it actually minimizes sibling rivalry. Children crave quality time with their parents due to a strong and natural drive for attention.

It is important to have separate “dates” with each of your children. Schedule one-on-one time with each one of your children. When two people are able to give each other their complete and undivided attention, bonds deepen. Joy, love and understanding are reaped. Trust me, they will cherish these days as much as you do!

When your driving, talk with your children. It’s easy to put on the radio and have them sit in the back seat, playing a video game. Turn the radio off and engage them in conversation. Ask them questions. Point things out that you see when you’re driving.

When you go out for lunch or dinner, be sure to put your cell phone away. Checking Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, your email, etc., can wait. The moment that you have with your children is precious. Take the time to talk with them. Remember when you talk to them, look at them. Eye contact is powerful.

The gift of time costs nothing yet it means absolutely everything. Take advantage of every moment. Spend every minute you can with your children. Don’t take it for granted and put it off. Tomorrow may never come.

Write to Your Children

I have been writing to my children since before they were even born.

Buy a special journal to write in for each one of your children. Write them letters. Express your feelings, your hopes, your dreams or things you always want them to remember. By doing this, you are creating something they will cherish forever.

On special occasions, don’t just sign a card. Write them a letter right there on the card. Isn’t that so much more special than just signing “Love Mom or Love Dad?”

I started writing notes to my boys when they started preschool. I packed a note everyday with their snack. The notes soon became lunch notes and continued throughout middle school. My boys are now online schooled and I still write them notes to find when they come down for either breakfast or lunch.

Road Trips

It’s fun to just get into the car as a family and drive without any destination in mind. You will discover not only new places to visit, but you will discover new things while at the same time, building memories.

Story Time

Go to your local library and pick out a bunch of books. If your children are old enough, let them pick out the books they want you to read. Each day, at a time of your choosing, sit on the couch with a few books and read to your children. I lovingly remember sitting in the middle of my boys, each with their head on my shoulders as I read to them. Sometimes we’d wind up reading all of them and we’d have to go back to the library to get more. A great memory!

Family Traditions

In our home, we have many family traditions. A couple of our favorites are family game night and family movie night. It’s special bonding time that causes interaction as well as a whole lot of laughter.

Start your own traditions. Have a family party where you buy snacks and celebrate being a family. It’s really so much fun!

Whatever you choose to do, take the time to invest in starting family traditions. Traditions are sacred and they bond families together and make them even closer. You will never regret or forget the times your family laughed, played, and spent time quality time together and neither will your children.
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I hope this post has inspired you to start making wonderful memories with your children.

After all, isn’t family what life is all about?