Have your ever received a text message and immediately got defensive only to realize later that you interpreted the message incorrectly? Have you ever sent someone an innocent text message and they misinterpreted your message? I’m imagining every single one of you reading this answers “yes.”

In our busy world, text messaging has quickly become the preferred method of communication but for many, it causes problems. About 50% of text messages get lost in translation leading to unnecessary arguments between people, putting strains on their relationships.

It is so much easier to misinterpret a text message than verbal communication. Text messages leave room for lack of clarity. The same thing said face-to-face or verbally on the telephone would most likely not be misunderstood and would avoid any potential conflict.

When a text message is received, we are unaware of what the sender is dealing with at that moment. They could be sending a quick, brief message right before needing to get back to work. They could be under the weather, tired and unable to concentrate at the time. Under these circumstances and so many others, crucial context could be absent and therefore the text message is received and seen as short, cold or snippety.

When we communicate face-to-face, we rely on and experience facial expressions as well as the tone of someone’s voice. Verbal communication allows us to pick up on emotional cues. We are able to get a sense of how someone feels as well as how they react to our verbal communication. If you can’t speak to someone in person, use the telephone to call someone. It is much more personal and you will be able to “read” someone more clearly than by simply reading words on a screen. Emotional connection is important to understand each other and you simply cannot get that from texting.

Not only is there a lack of facial expression as well as the tone of someone’s voice in a text message, but we also lack the ability to see their body language. When you are face-to-face, you can see someone smile as they are talking which indicates friendliness and happiness. On the other hand, if someone is speaking with you and they have their arms folded, their eyebrows raised and they are fidgety, this can indicate resistance, disbelief and anxiety. When you are texting with another, you have no idea of the other person’s body language. Misinterpreting text messages easily leads to full-blown arguments via text. If face-to-face is not an option, the telephone is a much better choice as verbal communication will allow you to hear someone’s tone, their mood and their intention.

Even digital language can be misinterpreted. The older generation tends to use proper spelling, grammar and punctuation whereas the younger generation choose to use more emojis and abbreviations. Texting can be misconstrued as too formal, even stiff while the emojis and abbreviations can be seen as short. Even the word “okay” typed as “k” can be taken the wrong way in certain context. How do you feel when someone simply types “fine.” There are so many interpretations of such a simple word. These are two digital language extremes. Try to aim for somewhere in the middle of them both. Opt for complete sentences while using more informal language so your tone doesn’t appear curt.

Before hitting that send button, be sure to proofread your message in order to avoid miscommunication. Flip it to you being the receiver. Is this a message you would be okay with receiving, without interpreting it the wrong way? Be honest with yourself. It can leave to an avoidance of arguments.

While text messaging is a great tool, it can also lead to misinterpretation, misunderstandings and upset relationships. The saying “everything in moderation” comes to mind here. Communication is important so we should always do what we can in order to do so effectively.